Stand Up

Scene: Open Mic night at a small,but full bar.

Well...it's kinda crazy being the only black guy here...oh wait...There's one in the back! You can sit up in the front man...you don't have to be in the back anymore. Shit, now I have to change up all my jokes. Didja hear Cadillac is taking out seat belts and putting Velcro on the ceiling instead? Yeah, so the Asian guys hair...sticks..to..See! Shit that just doesn't work! Anyway of you guys like Shakespeare? My daughters reading The Taming of the Shrew in school, which is my favorite Shakespeare play right! My favorite quote goes like this.

Petruchio: Come, come, you wasp, i’faith you are too angry.
Katherine: If I be waspish, best beware my sting.
Petruchio: My remedy is then to pluck it out.
Katherine: Ay, if the fool could find where it lies.
Petruchio: Who knows not where a wasp does wear his sting? In his tail.
Katherine: In his tongue.
Petruchio: Whose tongue?
Katherine: Yours, if you talk of tales, and so farewell.
Petruchio: What, with my tongue in your tail?

So, basically a shrew is a bitch and he's telling this bitch that he's gonna shut her up by sticking his tongue in her ass. I don't know if I'm ready to explain the finer points of Shakespeare to my daughter...