Hello from Fred.

I just wanted to say that being stuck inside this mother fuckers head is driving me crazy! Granted there are a whole buncha folks locked up in here, but I'd rather be out on the lake, just me an my fishin pole, an a case of keystone. A few folks in here are ok, but for the most part these overindulgent psychopathic assholes run this joint. It's pretty scary when one of em takes over...I mean...It kinda depends on who it is, but the transition from Rick to Alternate Personality is very strange. First there is a blinding light that smells like burnt up incense, next rubber chickens start falling…no not falling but more like rocketing at supersonic speeds from the heavens and pounding into the ground splatting giblet gravy all over the place, then the shaking...the terrible earth-moving, fall to your knees, praying to God to make it stop, head rattling shaking. Last time I thought I was going to be forcefully ejected out this narcissistic motherfuckers left ear and then silence, deep breathing. With every inhale the world slowly implodes on itself, bodies are compressed together so tightly ears and noses spout blood in all directions, and right before I think the end has come, the exhale save me/us, and finally it all stops and I am stuck in perpetual limbo...So enough bitchin, let me tell ya bout myself. I'm 82 years old. By far the oldest in the bunch...well...there is this one fella from ancient Egypt, but he's only 30...and I guess he is linearly older then me. Anyway, I try to help Rick out, but he's pretty hard headed and has to learn things the hard way. Sometimes he listens, and when he does I see his matureness needle go up just a little bit. I try to tell him things like "Wine brings out truth, so don’t drink too much, it could get you into trouble." and "Arrogance impedes self-awareness." He hasn’t really got that one down yet...He doesn’t believe that he's arrogant, he thinks he knows himself, but he does not. I spent years as a psychotherapist, I retired after perfecting the Rorschach inkblot test, and let me tell you all the inkblots are pictures of naked ladies...If you don’t see a naked lady then you are insane. No ifs ands or buts about it. It's that simple. "I see a butterfly" Well sir, you are completely nuts because that is obviously a picture of a woman bending over from behind. Point is, I'm an expert on the Human mind, and now that I have been living in one for a few years, I am a super expert. Especially on this guy. I can't really say he is crazy because he passed the inkblot test with flying colors. I mean, I never saw the lesbian threesome in the blots, but he found it and pointed it out and damnit he was right! So not crazy, but definitely off a little or a lot, depending on the day or which way the wind is blowing. I try to calm him down and put his mind at ease. He gets very impatient and I have tried to let him realize that he has some time left…all is not lost…etcetera etcetera. I love this boy like he was my son. I’ve let him stray a little because that is the best way to make him learn. Learning by experience can be hard. It leaves many scars that don’t heal all the way…So, it was my turn to control the body because everyone else is still hung over from New Year’s Eve. Since I am old and frail I don’t get to take over very often, so this is my chance to let you all in a little secret. The light told Rick something the other night…I hope to talk to you guys soon, but don’t count on it…